. . . begins with your relationship with yourself.
Milestones . . . graduations, birthdays, anniversaries & holidays come & go. Some relationships solidify; others dissolve. What do you spend most of your energy on? Do you practice healthy boundary setting and feeding your spirit, or do you spend most of your energy trying to avoid rocking the boat in order to reduce chances of arguments, temper tantrums and negativity?
When you examined and review your goals and present situation, you may honestly self reflect – embracing the periodic discomfort that accompanies this first step to growth, or elect to slip deeper into denial. Do you secretly believe that if you avoid the mirror of introspection, the image is hidden from others as well?
Short term and long term goals are either crafted or avoided.
If building or improving a relationship makes it to a short or long term goal list of ‘things to do then it is essential to make the following a priority: “Put time, energy and effort into getting to know myself.”
Ask yourself, “What . . . ”
- . . . brings me joy?
- . . . makes me feel proud of myself?
- . . . inspires me?
- . . . do I look forward to?
- . . . gives me energy?
- . . . drains me?
All relationships begin with your personal relationship with yourself
Building healthy relationships involves first knowing who you are deep inside. First, self-reflect to discover your own ‘favorites’ regarding mode of communication, ways to relax, books, movies, foods etc. . . . then ask yourself if you know the answers to the aforementioned questions about existing or prospective friends, coworkers, family, and colleagues.
If you actually care about others – from their perspective, then you are probably one of the rare, thoughtful and considerate people in your circle. If, however, you discover that you are not really ‘in the know’ regarding the preferences of those whom you like (or love), now is the perfect time to get those answers.
Remember that the first step is self-care. We can’t offer what we don’t have. Ellen Bard has some thoughts on how to achieve self care; click HERE to read her insights.
The next step is to share your healthy spirit with those around you. The result: joy. Psychology Today offers a few interesting insights on characteristics of healthy relationships. Click HERE to read more about them.
First things first. Begin with knowing what makes YOU tick and learning how to nourish your inner spirit. Once accomplished, you become more able to celebrate life by treating yourself to healthy relationships – either by mending ones you already have, rekindling one or more that you almost lost . . . and/or by beginning a new one.
Here’s to rebirth and rediscovery.
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